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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? An ironing board's legs are hard to open."

"Natural Disasters are just Mother Nature's way of saying, ""How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess? Go to your room.."""

"Therapist: U need some tools to cope with ur anger Me: Like a sledgehammer? T: No. More like breathing- M: Fire? Can u make me breathe fire?"

"Congratulations to the new Miss America! Now please answer your phone, I need tech support."

"The early bird might get the worm, but The second mouse *always* gets the cheese"

"Yeah? Well the Bible also tells us that abstinence isn't 100% effective, Mary."

"How do you get an elephant on a train? You take the ""S"" out of sub, and the ""F"" out of way. [Say it out loud]"

"There once was a girl named Roofie... Her blowjobs were really quite toothy. I slipped her a pill, She sucked on my dill, And ended my sexual thrill."

"Sex is like Pizza I haven't had any in a while."

"What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."