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Joke of the Day

"What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?... Their knees. (Not sure if this one translates well to english)"

"Did you hear the energizer bunny was arrested? He was charged with battery"

"Onions are a lot like knives.... If you get them in your eye you'll probably cry"

"When is a single gay man's favorite time of the day? When he takes a shit."

"Today I went to a zoo. It was empty except for a dog. It was a shih tzu."

"I think it's unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it's ""sushi,"" but when a fish eats uncooked human, it's ""a shark attack."""

"What I hate about pasta is how they change the shape and act like it's a different food. I'm out to expose the fraud."

"Hillary Clinton is like an art history major, old and useless."

"Hey, dude who's still lighting fireworks at midnight, nobody would notice a couple of gunshots right now."

"Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside"