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Joke of the Day
"Today I went to a zoo. It was empty except for a dog. It was a shih tzu."
Next Joke
"If zombies ever do attack, I'll just skip coffee that morning. They'll leave me alone because they'll think I'm one of them."
"Can you cure hereditary diarrhea? Or does it just run through your jeans?"
"I'd watch Pimp My Ride: One Year Later, a show about people coming to terms with maintaining a fish tank and waffle-maker in a Ford Fiesta."
"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."
"A gay deer eats what ? HEY HEY!!!!"
"Everyone else gauges how productive their week is by how little time they had for Twitter too, right?"
"Why was the egg late for work? It ova slept."
"They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer So I pushed Steve off a cliff, just in case it was him."
"My secret to sleeping is I put my bed outside When I go to bed I'm always out cold"