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Joke of the Day

"women and their purses! haha what's in there. tampons? lol. WATER? sweater? got sweaters? do you have an extra men's medium sweater in there"

"I wore my ""Gandalf for President"" shirt to the comic convention. It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration."

"How do you turn a duck into a R&B Soul artist? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers."

"Mazda's marketing slogan is ""We Build Mazdas."" They decided on it after rejecting others like: ""Mazdas Are Cars"" and ""Buy Mazdas With Money"""

"Awkward That awkward when you read ""moment"" even though it wasn't there."

"'50 Shades of Grey' taught me how to please a woman. It's by writing a shitty book."

"What's the difference between extremist and /r/the_donald? At least one group can grow a beard."

"So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner... After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, ""I think not,"" then immediately disappears."

"The last time people got so upset over a cup.. It involved two girls."

"Did you hear how they caught the guy who burgled Will Smith's house? Fresh prints"