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Joke of the Day

"[At auto store] Employee: How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires? ""Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength."""

"How many Environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb? It doesn't matter, they will never change a thing."

"In bio practical: Examiner:Tell me the name of this bird by seeing it's legs only? Sardar:I don't know. Examiner:You failed, what's your name? Sardar:See my legs & tell my name"

"So my son ate the baby Jesus out of our Nativity scene. Now we wait for the religious movement."

"(Quick one-liner joke:) Why are pretty women like pianos? Because when they're not upright, they're grand!"

"How does NASA organize a party? They planet. Sorry."

"If there is not a open bar and a goddamn delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back."

"""I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down"" ~Bowling pins"

"A group of held hands can raise your spirits. It's seance!"

"Doctor Doctor I've a split personality Well you'd better both sit down then!"