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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's father called me a pedophile just because she's 22 and I'm 36. Completely ruined our 10-year anniversary."

"Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess"

"Most famous gay couple of all. Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick."

"What do Mike Jones and an owl have in common? Who?"

"Why is Friday the best day of the week? Its the 5/7 day of the week"

"I like my women how I like my coffee... Without a penis!"

"What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry? STUPID AMERICAN!"

"Somebody asked Hillary Clinton if she would be going to see 13 hours... She said no, she had already slept through that one."

"A man with Alzheimer's decides he wants tell some friends a joke. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE"

"My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards."