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Joke of the Day

"Somebody asked Hillary Clinton if she would be going to see 13 hours... She said no, she had already slept through that one."

"If a man thinks blondes have the best butts... ...and the verifies this by only watching blondes walk around, is he guilty of Confirmation By-Ass?"

"If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you're angry about oxygen and numbers."

"Growing up in poverty, my mom was a lot like my anti-depressants... Neither of them really worked."

"I thinks it cool when X girlfriend becomes XL girldfriend."

"Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion? ... because he was outstanding in his field!"

"If I had ba dollar for every time I was racist, I'd be as rich as a Jew"

"This ice creamery has less choices than a black person considering college options in 1954"

"How do you make a Whiskey Sour? Crush it's hopes and dreams."

"JESUS: so I'm u GOD: yes JESUS: and ur me GOD: yes JESUS: I don't get it GOD: I do JESUS: how can one of us get it & not the other GOD: whoa"