98547

Joke of the Day

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year"

"What do you call a Jamaican with diahorrea? *Cool Runnings*"

"A man was eaten when he attempted to tell a joke directly to a crocodile's mouth. He didn't live to tell the tail."

"Why did Darwin love CSS? Because children inherit properties from their parents."

"I wish I had emo hair So it would cut its self"

"My friend got drunk and thinks he had sex with a prostitute... At first he wasn't sure, but then he was *positive*."

"Is that a burrito in your pocket or are you happy to see me? I'm cool if it's a burrito."

"ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra"

"Yes I am that gift that keeps on giving most people the finger."

"Meteorologist - Be horrible at you job and no one really cares. Pizza Delivery Driver - Be five minutes late and people lose their minds!"