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Joke of the Day
"I went to the doctor because my eye hurt every time i drank tea. He told me to take the spoon out."
Next Joke
"I hope this free massage guy from craigslist is on time."
"How's a divorce like a hurricane... There's a bunch of sucking and blowing, but in the end she takes your house."
"A man goes to the doctor and says ""I've got a problem, I have 5 penises"" The doctor says ""Woow, how do your pants fit?"", he replies ""like a glove"""
"Empire Strikes Back is still my favorite StarWars episode. One could say it is a perfect 5/7."
"A cheap concert 50 CENT starring Nickleback"
"Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It."
"Dave drowned So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. It's what he would have wanted. (Gary Delaney)"
"*walking into Home Depot for 2nd time today* Back again? Forget something? -Um, you remember if I brought a kid in here with me last time?"
"It's fun to watch babies taste new things like ice cream, lemons, or 9-volt batteries."