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Joke of the Day

"Are you eating Jell-O? Cow: ""Yeah."" You know what gelatin is made from, right? Cow: ""No, what?"" Uh. Rainbows. Enjoy, buddy."

"What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef."

"How much semen does a gay guy have? A butt load."

"My wife said she wanted to have sex like in the movies.. ..so I fucked her in the arse and came on her face and in her hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies."

"Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers? they only had one pickup"

"So my fiancee rolls over, wakes me up, and says, ""honey, your alarm is going off."" I say..... ""pics or didn't happen."""

"Did you hear Jill Stein and Al Franken are getting married? Their kids said they will hyphenate their last names to ""Franken-Stein."""

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was out-standing in his field"

"I have a special place in my heart. For blood and vessels and stuff."

"I want to listen to the audiobook of The Qur'an. Can someone please burn me a copy? Seriously, folks..."