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Joke of the Day

"Me: hey what's this weird lump? WebMD: could be cancer. Me: it's a raisin stuck to my elbow... WebMD: you have two weeks."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road Wtf Idk"

"A blind man walks into a bar And a table. And a chair"

"Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does the same movies over again. Who'll he fight? The same bad guys! Billion dollar film franchise."

"Did you know that Native Americans were really good strippers? Every time they danced, they made it rain."

"My question is: how did she manage to forget the result?"

"My friends told me we were going for a ride and I called ""Shotgun""... ... they did'nt tell me we we're actually going for a drive-by. FML :("

"I used to want to live in the sewers with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was a kid so I'd say I'm a success compared to that."

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift."

"People tell me sharing is caring. Good thing I don't care."