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Joke of the Day

"A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder."

"What Do You Call A Masterbating Cow? Beef Stroganoff!"

"What's the difference between a radish and a beet? I've never radished off to OP's mom."

"Why do chemists go to the gym so much? Before they titrate, they need to get buffer!"

"Its good to die like my grandfather, painlessly in his sleep. Its bad to die in a terrible accident, like the passengers on his bus."

"My Grandmother always leaves long voicemails. Its 5 minutes of her talking and 10 minutes of her trying to hang up the phone."

"Thanks to advertisements I know I need to help the diseased, the pregnant and those dying of cancer... And then have a smoke."

"What are Jehovah witnesses called in Chinese? Dind Dong"

"What's the fastest car on earth? A rental car."

"I have a talking pig stuck to my fridge. It's a Babe magnet."