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Joke of the Day

"When I die I don't want a big funeral. I'd just like a few of my close friends to get together and try to bring me back to life..."

"What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black? [OC] A parka, son."

"Why does Donald Trump watch the olympics? To see how high the mexican pole jumpers can jump."

"Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs"

"Which 3 words will make a mexican tremble in fear ? Round of 16"

"What did one ghost say to the other? Do you believe in people?"

"If you are telekinetic, raise my hand."

"How could I forget, mate? At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: ""I am a country member!"" and the other said: ""Oh, I remember!"""

"My girlfriend calls me the gas station... Because I have 6-10 pumps."

"Like a baboon stuck in a snowstorm... I should be dead right now."