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Joke of the Day
"Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs"
Next Joke
"I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they're 21."
"Ever want to have rodeo sex? Get on top and call her by the wrong name and try and hold on for 8 seconds."
"What do you call a person who enjoy mondays? Unemployed"
"The best way to show someone you hate them is to serve them food without cheese on it."
"My kitchen timer broke..good thing I wasn't counting on it."
"[mission] CMDR: Did everyone sync their watches? ME: Yeah and now it doesn't work CMDR: What? Let me see ME: I can't...it's in the sink"
"What country does every one called Andy come from? Peru, because it's the home of the Andes!"
"What kind of tea isn't fake? A property"
"*Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says"