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Joke of the Day

"2 ""black"" questions that aren't racist. What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire. What's black and screaming? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 6 Step 7, 8, 9, 11"

"Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?"

"What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk? A milk dud."

"""Give it to me,"" my girlfriend yelled. ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella"

"If you're famous and your name suddenly becomes a Twitter trending topic, you are probably dead."

"Yo mamma's so fat when she went on vacation, the locals correctly identified her as an American"

"Why did the condom fly across the room? Because it was pissed off."

"Where do snowmen dance? At the snowball!"

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from ""Taken"" today.. ""I will find you, and I will kill you."" My niece didn't want to play hide and seek anymore."