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Joke of the Day

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from ""Taken"" today.. ""I will find you, and I will kill you."" My niece didn't want to play hide and seek anymore."

"fat people https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2uje2o/how_to_lose_weight_fast/?submit_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DzfOy5Ghv9rM&already_submitted=true"

"Sorry I haven't returned your text in 3 days, I was taking a nap."

"Did you hear about the gay magician? He disappeared with a puff."

"My mother said I could never build a car out of spaghetti You should've seen her face when I drove pasta"

"Did you hear about the man who was using apples and oranges for flooring? He started to lay them down when he realized it was fruit-tile."

"Round the Mountain by Sheelagh B. Cummin"

"What do old people smell like. Depends."

"Wanna hear a clean joke? Timmy took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I forgot to capitalize Bubbles. Whoops."

"A priest walks into a shoemakers shope... And says to the cobbler, ""Help! My soles need heeling!"""