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Joke of the Day

"I saw an identical tweet of my joke! It was posted months before mine, so he's worse than a tweet thief; he's a time-travelling tweet thief!"

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"[interview] ""What's your greatest weakness?"" Superman: Seriously?"
"What's a white supremacist's favourite fast food restaurant? KKKFC"
"Don't judge me until you know me. Don't underestimate me until you challenge me. And don't talk about me until you talk to me"
"What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face"
"There's no ""I"" in team but there is one in shut your stupid mouth."
"What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess? Shrekmate."
"Despite it being close to Christmas, I'm still on my Summer diet... ...I'll have summer that, summer that, and summer that."
"Just like Jesus joke (NSFW) Came up with this: If I were gay and had sex with a jewish guy I'd be just like Jesus. Because I came into Jerusalem ridding on an ass."
"Just give me a sec. I'm still waiting for IE8 to open a new tab. A blank tab. Waiting... Still waiting... There it is."