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Joke of the Day

"Despite it being close to Christmas, I'm still on my Summer diet... ...I'll have summer that, summer that, and summer that."

"I'm not paying any more child support. His posture hasn't improved at all."

"My Pops told me that you can't go around trying to save everyone. They have to save themselves. He was a terrible lifeguard."

"The prophet Muhammad, Hitler and Charles Manson walk into a gay bar The bartender runs for his life screaming ""NO! FUCK THIS JOKE!"""

"What is brown all around and looks good on a motorcyclist? A coffin."

"Sex is like cooking. Your girlfriend will be angry at you because you ate your neighbour's even though she hasn't cooked for you in weeks."

"Why are all the best Jazz musicians brown? Because they're great at scatting."

"What was Michael Jackson's favourite musical key? A Minor"

"If you're such a powerful warlock, why do you have diabetes."

"If anyone says YOLO to me I say YOLBYPCFAC (You Only Live Because Your Parents Couldn't Find A Condom). I hope it catches on..."