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Joke of the Day

"Just give me a sec. I'm still waiting for IE8 to open a new tab. A blank tab. Waiting... Still waiting... There it is."

"Where did I get my scarf? It's a CVS receipt. You love it? Oh thank you very much."

"How does a Facebook employee greet each other? Hey there, whatsapp!!"

"Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem."

"My sister told me she is going to become fucking rich... I didn't know she wanted to be a porn actress"

"I want to create something so good that everyone hates it a week later."

"My dad got carpal tunnel syndrome from being on a keyboard in an office all day. It got so bad his boss made him get rid of the piano."

"My penis is 4 inches... ...but I find most girls don't like it that wide."

"You say drug dealer. I say astute, urban entrepreneur embracing the booming chemical escapism market."

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* ""damn"" and a skydiver goes ""damn"" *whack*"