98096

Joke of the Day

"i have two wives and i take care of them both equally and love them both equally. ain't that bigamy?"

"[supermarket] *Unpacks 60 items of groceries onto checkout area* CHECKOUT GIRL: I have a boyfriend. ME: Oh, OK. *slowly repacks trolley*"

"(Starbucks drive thru) Me: I'd like to pay-it-forward for the car behind me. Barista: That will be $30 Me: How much for the car behind him?"

"Where is Victoria working now? In the kitchen."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bolton ! Bolton who ? Bolton braces !"

"What has 60 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Country concert"

"There was a prison break and I locked eyes with a midget as he climbed up the fence. As he jumped over he sneered at me and I thought, ""Well, that's a little condescending."""

"No one is reading any of these tweets. Feel free to unburden yourself. I murdered a drifter once. Wow. That feels great. Now you."

"Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet? Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e."

"What did the Scotsman say when he went for another drink? ""Hey, where'd my Glascow?"""