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Joke of the Day
"Why is Caitlyn Jenner so skinny? Because the FDA just banned trans fats."
Next Joke
"Three eyes What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig What do you call a chimp with three eyes? A chiiimp What do you call a kid with three eyes? Chinese"
"My condolences for you and your family through this difficult transition is why my wife won't let me send back wedding RSVP cards."
"Did you hear Apple is going into the wine business? Their vineyard will produce every varietal of wine... except ports."
"I never close my eyes in the shower because that's how murderers know when to show up and kill you."
"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Walkout"
"Becoming a vegetarian Is a big missed steak"
"What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat"
"Kanye goes to law school just so he can yell THE DEFENSE WESTS YOUR HONOR and moonwalk out of the courtroom. The defendant is executed."
"I am going to be arrested today! Because I will be snowden!"