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Joke of the Day

"Single airline stewardesses are very lucky... for their convenience all men are already sorted into different classes."

"""Keep away from children to avoid suffocation"" was the best advice I've ever received. You have to pay for that nowadays"

"What is the difference between SETI and Donald Trump? One has demonstrated the scarcity of intelligent life in the universe, and the other is a scientific study of extra terrestrials."

"Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms."

"I've always wanted to know how long ""forever"" was... and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 2 to 4 weeks."

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom? European"

"If a quiz is quizzical what is a test?"

"How much calcium is in a kiss? Enough to make a bone hard."

"The principal confiscated my CD's and microSD full of songs from 1980's shoot-em-up video games, specifically the ones mentioning eagles. He said it was illegal contraband."

"And the Lord said unto John ""come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and got a toaster."