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Joke of the Day

"To do list: 1) Change Facebook name to 'No One' 2) 'Like' peoples statuses."

"what do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? a tear-jerker"

"If Al Gore had a band, it'd be called... The Algorithms. I'm sooooooooooo sorry for this. :("

"Ireland has an abnormally low amount of children with down syndrome Because they ate all the potatoes"

"A husband says to his wife... ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"". She replied ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent!"", he retorted, ""I won 12, here's 6, now fuck off""."

"What animal's alphabet is just like ours? A Baby Ceel's"

"What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common? They both have ornamental balls"

"I like to listen to sad music when I'm sad to make me double sad."

"Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!"

"Whats white on the outside green on the inside and comes with relish and onions ? A hot frog !"