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Joke of the Day
"What animal's alphabet is just like ours? A Baby Ceel's"
Next Joke
"The police came to my door and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes My dogs don't even have bikes"
"What would you call a 100 year old can of baked beans? Has-beens."
"[before sex] HER: did you bring protection? ME: heck ya I did *slowly reaches into back pocket and pulls out nunchucks*"
"What did the art major say to the law major? ""Would you like fries with that?"""
"Boss: John, tell me your greatest weakness Me: Honesty B: I don't think that's a weakness M: I don't give a shit what you think."
"I drank 2 energy drinks to keep me aware while I drive but the only thing I'm aware of now is how many inanimate objects have jazz hands."
"I swear I won't be undressing you with my eyes again. That REALLY hurt!"
"I don't Bolivia Peru-v it."
"When in doubt, ignore an unknown number on your mobile, never hit Reply All, and always wear clothes when you step out of your house."