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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!"

"What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 300 degrees in the oven."

"A song is being released in aid of the families of the Malaysian Airlines flight... It's Ukraining Men."

"What did one wall say to the other wall? Lets meet in the corner!"

"Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?"

"If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners."

"Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm."

"Life just handed me lemonade. Not sure what to do."

"My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw."

"A blonde a brunette and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... This content has been censored by Ellen Pao because it was harassing her personal interests"