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Joke of the Day

"You need an Arc? I Noah guy."

"What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi? Stew."

"Wanna hear a joke about a pizza? Nm, it's too cheesy."

"I installed IOS 9 Beta. And it shot up my school."

"What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants? ""Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"""

"When I asked you for the punchline... ...I didn't think you were talking about polygamist domestic abuse."

"If you call Starbucks ""Starbs,"" I hope you get totes murds."

"The bartender asks, ""what can I get you?"" A neutrino walks into a bar. (See it arrived before it set off... myeh)"

"Things i use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%"

"Q: Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows? A: It took her six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in."