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Joke of the Day
"I have sloth-like reflexes ""Don't you mean catlike reflexes?"" [several hours later] No"
Next Joke
"I dunno Discovery Channel, if you think crabs are the deadliest thing you can catch, you've obviously never slept with my sister Ashley."
"What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His shoulder."
"I lost two things today. My virginity... ...and my job at the morgue."
"Proof that Donald Trump is a racist Tomorrow he is going to throw a black family out of their house."
"Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other... They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line."
"""LET MY PEEPHOLE GO!"" -Moses when the cops found the peephole he installed in the Womens washroom."
"How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway."
"If you're looking for me to be more tasteful and tender, marinate me in whiskey."
"A Jamaican went to the barber. It was a dreadful experience."