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Joke of the Day

"Two chemists walk into a bar... The first one said ""I want some H2O please"".The other chemist said ""I'd like some H2O too"".Then he died."

"Hitting a bullseye requires a lot of practice, good aim, and running from angry, blind bulls."

"If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fuck itself."

"If my husband doesn't like my cooking, he can buy his meth somewhere else."

"I just shook the crumbs out of my keyboard and they spelled ""GAYLORD."" My haters grow more powerful everyday."

"Guys, be sensitive. Fat people have feelings too. Usually hunger, shortness of breath, insecurity and itchiness in unreachable places."

"Me: I set a record for the rope climb in high school. 4-year-old: You climbed it the fastest? My wife: He cried the most."

"How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? The hot dogs taste like ass."

"Doctor Vs Patient Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Sting has launched his own range of aromatherapy oils. They're a massage in a bottle"