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Joke of the Day

"Hitting a bullseye requires a lot of practice, good aim, and running from angry, blind bulls."

"[hours after first date] HER: *on phone* yeah i went on the date but he was creepy. *i'm just sitting outside her bedroom window in shock*"

"Why do rappers repeat their names in their songs? So they dont forget it."

"Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese? Because Jesus took the wheel."

"How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear? Color coded: ""Yellow in front, brown in the back"""

"Don't be fooled by looks, butterflies taste just like moths."

"Did you hear the one about Phillip Hughes? He was the first Australian to die of a bowler."

"I just saw an article titled ""Can We build a Real Jurassic Park?"" DID YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE?!"

"13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go"

"Botanists should run the fashion industry... ...they really have style."