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Joke of the Day

"This morning I made my coffee with an energy drink instead of water. Fifteen minutes on the highway later I realized I forgot my car in the garage."

"if a gay man inquires about something.... Is it a queery?"

"You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started."

"Why aren't you doing very well in history? Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!"

"What do you call a party with no Filipino people? A no-Nguyen scenario."

"No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave."

"Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job."

"Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek? Because it's the future"

"Get a free debt analysis by visiting your parents this holiday."

"My first highschool football game was a lot like my first time having sex... I was bloody and sore by the end, but at least my dad came Repost from r/darkhumour"