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Joke of the Day

"My ex is like cottage cheese... she's lumpy, she tastes bad, and I don't know what she goes well with."

"The real reason Hillary Clinton stumbled A tiny plane flew into her."

"The boy was so lazy that he got up a bit earlier so that he could do nothing for a bit longer."

"I want to congratulate every couple that has gotten to the stage in their relationship where they just stare at each other in disgust."

"With the exchange rate, Canadians only have 120 characters on Twitter. So we have less room to be clever than Ameri"

"Girlfriend walks into the room - Smells like someone farted in here. What an asshole"

"I used to pretend that broccoli florets were treetops and I was a giant eating up the forest while my Dad pretended he had a manly son."

"I exercise religiously I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week."

"I miss newspapers. It's weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad"

"A girl approaches a guy... Girl: Do you drink? Guy: No. Girl: Do you do drugs? Guy: No. Girl: Do you watch porn? Guy: No. Girl: Then how do you have fun? Guy: I lie to people."