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Joke of the Day

"About 50% of the time ""good luck"" means ""fuck you."""

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"Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat."
"What does a Frog use to fish with? A TAD POLE."
"I've got 99 problems and they're all luftballons."
"What did the Muslim bring to the Holiday party? Falafel and hummus."
"I saw the add on page one. I dont have a reason to stand for cancer. But I do have a reason to sit for diabetes."
"If winning was easy, losers would do it."
"Whats big and green and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table."
"You know I would love to show you the toys my elves make for adults."
"I like my women how I like my whiskey. Six years old."