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Joke of the Day

"You know I would love to show you the toys my elves make for adults."

"Q: Why do Chinese noodles make the best lovers?? A: Because they are 'Lo Mein-tenance' and they don't won a ton of attention. ...but then again, Italian noodles have great Penne-tration..."

"I'd like to see every photograph where I'm just someone passing in the background."

"If steroids are illegal for athletes, then Photoshop should be illegal for models"

"Seems to me the guy who named sneakers was up to no good."

"What's the difference between Spartacus and Hannibal Lector One of them's a gladiator, and the other is glad he ate her!"

"aliens took me up to on their ship but i have no time for that drama so i just jumped out"

"Larry Page's note to himself when wife mentions she wants motorola, she means phone."

"What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk!"

"Why does everyone make fun of Batmans old suit, the one with the nipples? Bats have nipples. Hell, that's the most sensitive part of a bat."