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Joke of the Day

"Being an adult is mostly hurrying up to get to places you didn't want to go in the first place."

"Whats the difference between a dead dog on the side of the road and a dead lawyer on the side of the road? There are skidmarks before the dog."

"What's the capital of Greece? (x-post from /r/MeanJokes) About 10. DISCLAIMER: I heard this joke from /u/r4e3d2d2i8t5. All due credit to that person."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman? Mick Jagger says ""Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"", but the Scotsman says ""Hey! McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"""

"Why did 10 die? Because it was in the middle of 9 11"

"What did one plane said to the other plane? Can I crash at your place?"

"4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to ""How do you know if something is art?"" ""People tell you."""

"It's terrible waking up with regret. Perhaps if she changed her name I'd feel better."

"I'll do anything to prove I'm not lazy. I'll go the whole three yards."

"If you're a person who indulges in recreational marijuana use, my daughter was born last Friday at 4:21pm. Sorry I couldn't push faster."