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Joke of the Day
"Barack Obama."
Next Joke
"PREGNANCY TEST! Girl: Dad, what's better? to pass or to fail? Dad: To pass obviously Girl: OH GOOD, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF ME! I PASSED MY PREGNANCY TEST!"
"What do you call a grandma that know martial arts? A grandmartial artist. I apologise for any lost brain cells."
"Dear Sir / Madam... Your transgender operation was a partial success."
"[me buying drugs for the first time] wow that's a very puffy jacket u have on"
"ALERT At 9:20am, I lost an apostrophe. Last seen in the word ""Let's"". If you see it, please send it home. Its tweet misses it."
"Things that smell better than they taste: coffee, popcorn, vanilla-scented ass."
"I was really upset today but then a friend said ""don't be upset"" so now I'm not upset anymore"
"God to now go through your old tweets before making final decision on heaven."
"Traffic shut down in many US cities today Have you ever seen a angry woman drive?"