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Joke of the Day

"PREGNANCY TEST! Girl: Dad, what's better? to pass or to fail? Dad: To pass obviously Girl: OH GOOD, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF ME! I PASSED MY PREGNANCY TEST!"

"My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate."

"Why did the emo kid leave the bar? It was happy hour."

"You know your a redneck when...... _______________ (Fill in the blank)"

"Q. What is eternity? A. When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!"

"What do you call a task that isn't quite mundane? Tuesdane"

"How do you put elephant in the fridge? - Answer is open the door and just put the elephant in the fridge."

"An old white man in a beard bestowing gifts from the sky? Please."

"I don't know who decided that high heels were just for women but...GOOD CALL."

"What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment."