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Joke of the Day

"ALERT At 9:20am, I lost an apostrophe. Last seen in the word ""Let's"". If you see it, please send it home. Its tweet misses it."

"I got an anonymous letter today. Oh really - who was it from?!"

"""How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?"" Doesn't follow instructions very well."

"Why are do gays always get to the airport early. They get their shit packed the night before."

"What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas? Cancer."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Rustle."

"How many girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know..."

"Have you seen the movie constipated? It hasn't come out yet."

"Your mother is so fat.. ..when she wears high heels she strikes oil"

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."