28001

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a grandma that know martial arts? A grandmartial artist. I apologise for any lost brain cells."

"My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."

"does anybody have any funny quotes from the new Anchorman movie that they'd like to share for the next seven to eight years"

"priest: ""does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?"" me: ""SHE LEAVES THE VOLUME ON ODD NUMBERS"" priest: [slowly closes bible]"

"I guess we're all just lucky that Dennis the Menace's first name wasn't Carsonist."

"Judge: ""Reason for divorce?"" Me: ""Reconcilable differences."" Judge: ""Don't you mean irreconcilable?"" Me: ""Ugh. You sound just like her."""

"When you get sloppy seconds and get her pregnant. You get a sloppy Joe."

"Sick of all these Santa apologists. A HOME INVASION IS A HOME INVASION."

"30 And to his followers he said, ""Beliebers, weep not for me but yourselves and your children; for they'll never get to see me in concert."""

"What's faster than a speeding bullet? [Religion] A Jew with a coupon."