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Joke of the Day

"GF (from 2nd floor window): either the trampoline goes or I go! ME: It ... was ... nice ... knowing ... you"

"I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She cried & then she hugged me."

"A termite walked into a tavern, and asked"" Is the bar tender here?"""

"Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says ""What's up, Doc?"" he's legitimately concerned."

"I'm hiring a motivational speaker for my lazy eye."

"How do you scare a bee? Boo bee. (Boobie - get it? - courtesy of my kids)"

"Being an ugly woman is like being a man... You're going to have to work."

"life hack #1 never poop before work even if u are about to shit yourself on the way cuz that just means u get one more break"

"I wonder if my dog gets embarrassed when I give him kisses in front of other dogs at the park."

"What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint"