221967

Joke of the Day

"If a blonde and a brunette were tossed off a building together, who would hit the ground first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions."

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"What do you call a cannibal who only eats comatose people? A vegetarian."
"What do you say to an alien with two heads? Hello. Hello."
"Someone told me the first person you look at after something funny happens is the person you like the most... Good thing I always keep a mirror with me"
"I was gonna tell you guys a gay joke... ...butt fuck it"
"A crossfiter, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar... I know this because they won't shut up about it."
"Today I played chess with some old men in the park. It was hard to round up 32 of them."
"What's the difference between a gay and a microwave.... You can't brown a sausage in a microwave"
"Q: Why did Thoreau build a house? A: Because he wanted to be walled-in."
"One time John Waters spilled water on me and my mom said ""thank god his name isn't John Barbecue Sauce!"""