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Joke of the Day

"I was in the supermarket and I thought I saw my name on a loaf of bread. I looked again and it said ""thick cut""."

"The other day me and my transgender mate Dave saw a bundle of mosquitoes eating several trout..... Dave asked - ""How did they get them ?"" I said - "" fly fishing"" and yes he is transgender."

"Did such a great job cutting down a tree yesterday The neighbours clapped as I took a bough"

"Used way too much moisturizer and I may have to call in slick tomorrow."

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap. Filthy bastards."

"The Bartender says, we don't serve time-travelers here! A time traveler walks into a bar."

"Analysts have recently uncovered the reason behind Obama's recent activity He is practicing for a golf war."

"What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow you around stalking you after you toss a load in it."

"Q: What do you call it when you lease false teeth? A: A dental rental."

"Don't lie, steal, or cheat... The government hates competition."