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Joke of the Day

"How come old clothes are ""vintage"" but old people are ""nasty over-entitled thugs whose blind selfishness mortgaged America's future"""

"I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they're 21."

"Have you heard the one about the ceiling? Nevermind, it's over your head"

"NASA sends out a probe to Uranus Geeks around the world giggle."

"My local newspaper ran a pun writing contest I entered my ten best puns hoping one would win, sadly no pun in ten did"

"3 gays in a hot tub A bubble of semen rises up, one looks at the others and says ""OK who's farted?"""

"What do you call two Chinese government massacres? Tienanmen squared"

"So many people are worried that The Walking Dead could happen and I'm over here terrified that Idiocracy is actually happening."

"What do you get when you cross pokemon and digimon?! A poke-mon!"

"3 things in this world scare me: 1. scorpions 2. jellyfish 3. streets named after civil rights leaders at night."