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Joke of the Day

"I dumped my girlfriend, Ruth, the other day. I told myself I'm just gonna be Ruthless in love from now on."

"You really shouldn't label sandwiches, I mean they have a right to exist in a world without labels and judgements just like everyone else."

"An atheist, a vegan, and a Cross Fitter walk into a bar I only know because they told everyone in the first 3 minutes."

"Hendrix didn't need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD."

"What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love? A stupid Cupid!"

"Me: Honey, are you awake? [wife rustles] Hmmm? Me: When we were fighting & you said ""Wolverine's powers suck,"" did you really mean that"

"What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos? Pork, eh?"

"Yo mama so fat.... that when she sits in space-time she causes gravitational waves"

"Have you heard about the South Korean subreddit? Apparently it's the /r/seoul of reddit."

"My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay. I got full marx."