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Joke of the Day

"So I was nailing my girl from behind ... After we were done she turns to me and says. ""my friends tell me you are a pedophile."" To which I reply ""That is an awfully big word for a 10 year old"""

"I've just burned the Koran... ...to CD if anyone wants a copy."

"My girlfriend and I used to argue in bed... I liked to sleep all stretched out like a starfish, and she liked to sleep with a Russian body-builder called Ivan."

"I bought a lamp stand from Ikea... the assistant asked me was I planning on putting it up myself. ""You dirty bastard"" I said, ""It's going in the living room"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amsterdam ! Amsterdam who ? Amsterdam is like plum jam but made from hamsters !"

"Where did Mary go after the explosion?? EVERYWHERE!"

"What did the racist cannibal have for breakfast? Nigger-o's"

"Did you hear about the monkey who was a virgin and didn't care? Zero fucks gibbon. (sorry)"

"How come the Welsh can't keep track of how many they've had sex with with? Well, they start counting, but they fall asleep before they're finished."

"What did the Buffalo Say to his Son as he left for school? Bison"