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Joke of the Day

"What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? They both get clubbed by Norwegians..."

"So I guess it's going to be ham for Thanksgiving lulz. cause no more Turkey"

"[PetSmart] *approaches checkout with bird seed* ""that all for you today?"" Yes. How long does it usually take? ""For what?"" For them to grow"

"Is that ChapStick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"I want to be rich enough to tell the Chipotle cashier, ""Guacamole is NO OBJECT!"""

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *Cough-Choke-Cough-Gag-Cough*"

"God took a paternity test He found out he was the father, the son and the holy spirit."

"My wife's starsign was Cancer, which is quite ironic really, thinking about how she died... she was attacked by a giant crab"

"What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf? A gras shopper."

"Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled? Because they have a claus in their contract."