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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the mass shooting at the thrift shop? The killer was said to be goodwill hunting."

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"Knock Knock Come in."
"The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook."
"The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa."
"What did the Elk say after leaving a gay bar? I cannot believe I just blew 50 bucks back there!"
"Pull the pin out of a grenade... and you can keep it for the rest of your life."
"What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk? My Zipper."
"When everything comes your way.. You are in the wrong lane"
"ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*"
"Mom: Where're you going? Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends? Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter..."