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Joke of the Day
"I can't wait for Kim Kardashian to get old"
Next Joke
"Me (getting choked): who called it getting new tires Guy (who is choking me): how are you breathing Me (dying): and not a retirement plan"
"A photon checks into a motel the clerk says, ""Do you have any luggage? If so, I can have the bell hop take it to your room."" The photon replies, ""No, I am traveling light!"""
"I bought myself two eggplants and so far neither has laid a single egg."
"""Pardon me. Might I murder you with my musket? Yes? Excellent news, kind sir!"" - The Very Civil War"
"A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane And the flight attendant says to him, ""I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."""
"How you call a girl that doesnt do blowjobs ? You simply don't call her."
"Jake from State Farm lives with us now, our house is full of khaki pants, he is making khaki pants for dinner."
"My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands."
"What do you call a cat crossed with a canary? a cosh(x/a)"