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Joke of the Day
"Does anyone have the owner's manual for a wife? Mine's emitting a terrible whining noise."
Next Joke
"I don't have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites."
"I farted on the train and 4 people turned around. Felt like I was on The Voice. (Not an original joke)"
"""I love you. I'd do anything for you."" -let me see your phone real quick ""You're smothering me. I need some space"""
"How much do deer nuts cost? Under a buck"
"The best thing to do with Christmas lights that don't work is put them back in the attic so they can frustrate you again next year."
"A priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a horse all walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""
"I've always wanted to improve my knowledge of Greek Mythology.... It's been my achilles elbow for quite some time."
"What do you call a dwarf psychic on the run? A small medium at large."
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Alickalotapuss"