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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dwarf psychic on the run? A small medium at large."

"I decided to be vegan! Until I realized that it was a missed steak"

"[dinner at brother's house] ""So where are the kids?"" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*"

"What's the definition of a will? Come on, guys. The answer's a dead giveaway."

"anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer"

"A man asks a trainer in the gym: ""I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?"" Trainer replies: ""Use the ATM"""

"Two sausages are in a frying pan. One says, ""Geez, it's hot in here isn't it?""And the other one says, ""Aaaaaah! A talking sausage!"""

"Fun fact for you... 5 out of 4 people don't understand ratios..."

"""I will take a nirvana sandwich."" ""One with everything"""

"Girlfriend and I are visiting San Fran to finally see the Golden Gate in person. ""What are we going to do when we see it?"" she asks. ""We'll cross that bridge when we get there."""