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Joke of the Day

"2 guys with Alzheimer's. ""I'm off to go get some ice cream, do you want some?"" ""Yeah sure"" Shortly later, he returns. ""Here, I brought you your fish"" ""Fish!.............. where's my fucking chips."""

"I could tell you a joke about TCP.... But I'd have to keep repeating it until you got it."

"""Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly"" *gestures to 237 IKEA boxes* ""Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"""

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them."

"Why do chat fail always look fake Because they are"

"People who like trance music are very persistent. They don't techno for an answer"

"Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A: If we change the light bulb we'll have to change everything."

"What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book? Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama."

"Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks."

"What is the difference between my grandma and a newborn baby? When I fuck my grandma up the ass she doesn't die."